There are many factors that contribute to divorce: money disputes, being unfaithful, parenting disagreements, and the list goes on. These are all more common contributing factors for divorce in today’s culture than in the past. But getting a divorce doesn’t have to be chalked up to just one or two specific causes. It may not be that clear cut. There may be other factors to weigh in that you may not be able to control as much.
Children of Divorce
Some people are lucky enough to have their parents stay in a happy, loving, and long-lasting marriage. However, according to the American Psychological Association, about 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.
Studies show that a parental split can influence the next generation from childhood on. As we all know, children learn behavioral habits from their parents, for better or worse. When parents argue, then find a way to fight through and make things work in a healthy way, it helps kids learn that a solution is possible. When parents argue, then simply fight and give up on each other, the kids see this as a way to solve their relationship problems. There are exceptions, but more often than not, our behaviors and habits are directly influenced by how we’re raised and how our parents treat the people around them.
Children of divorce are also more likely to be in relationships with other children of divorce. This increases the probability of starting with a disadvantage in your relationship. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t succeed with your partner. It may just mean that you have to be more self-aware and conscious of how your past can affect you and your choices.
Another factor (albeit minor) is genetics. Nicholas Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, says, “Some people are jerks, and there is some component of being a jerk that appears to be purely genetic. So: You’re a jerk, you get married, you have a kid, you don’t stay married…your kid inherits some of the genetic propensity to be a jerk. And so they get divorced.”
While this is not been found to be as much as an attributing factor as learned behavior, genetics can still play a part in the success of your relationship.
Societal and cultural standards are always changing. If you go back to previous generations, divorce was more of a faux pas, and marriage itself was more of a common societal standard. This means more people got married, and less of those ended in divorce. Our culture was surrounded by the idea that you got married and you stayed married.
Today, younger generations are choosing a different path. Whether it’s seeing their parents’ failed marriages or just not seeing an importance in marriage, more and more couples are choosing to not get married. The most important aspect of any relationship is happiness. If not getting married and simply remaining in a committed happy relationship is what works for you, that’s awesome! Relationships and marriages are all different. You have to find out what works for you, makes you and your partner happy, and run with it.
If you’re feeling unhappy and facing divorce, we can help. Please call the Abbott Law Office at (806)350-HOPE(4673). Uncontested divorce starts at $399 plus court costs. There is hope. Call us today.