Divorce Can Feel Like Death
In a divorce, you’re usually not just losing one person. You could be saying goodbye to your ex-spouses family as well. It can feel like the death of a loved one. You may never have the same relationship with those former family members, if at all. Even if you have a good relationship with your ex’s relatives, don’t be surprised if they side with him or her despite how they feel about you. That sense of loss can be overwhelming. You just have to be prepared to mourn this loss when facing divorce.
There’s No Triumph in Staying in an Unhappy Marriage
There are many reasons people do it: “Staying together for the kids”, “It’s just a phase. They’ll change.”, or “We’ve been together for so long.”; but the truth is, sometimes people change and grow (or refuse to) and aren’t satisfied or happy in a marriage any longer. There’s no merit in staying in an unhappy or unhealthy marriage. If it won’t work, it won’t work. There’s no sense in avoiding the inevitable. Even with children involved, a happy separate living situation is better than one that is toxic or unhealthy together. Many times a divorce creates a better, but different, relationship between you and your ex-spouse.
You May Lose Married Friends
Friends may be a key asset to your mental health during a divorce. However, many times if your friends are also married couples, they may not want to choose sides. Sometimes they’re dealing with their own marital issues and just can’t be there for you the way they were before. If it feels like your married friends aren’t around as much it may be true. It’s a great time to make new friends and surround yourself with positive people that fit your new lifestyle. Just like your marriage, it is always ok to let people go when they can’t be a part of your life anymore.
You Will Probably Second Guess Your Decision…and Third Guess It Too
It’s natural. It’s understandable. When you’re going through hard times it’s easy to see the situation with “rose-colored” glasses. As your ex-spouse moves on, or even begins a new relationship, it can sting and you can feel jealous. This can lead to regret and second-guessing ending the relationship. You start justifying the bad and thinking “What if it would have worked out?”, or “What if we tried harder?”. However, you have to remember everything involved with the split and do what you can to move on in your life as well. There’s a reason you’re not together anymore. Pick yourself up and know those feelings will pass.
It’s All a Learning Experience
You should never consider your divorce a failure. It is simply people and situations changing that don’t allow for a good relationship. It is a learning experience. The things that you learn through marriage and divorce are lifelong lessons that you can carry with you for future relationships and in life in general. You become a more wise person. You become stronger and more resilient. Believe in yourself and believe in your future.
At Abbott Law Office, uncontested divorces start at just $399 plus court costs. If you’re facing divorce or just have questions, please feel free to call us at (806)350-HOPE(4673).